When Letting Go Feels Like Holding Onto Pain

 “Letting go isn’t losing; it’s choosing to find yourself in the space they left behind.”- Satyasri Akula

 

Life often demands that we let go of people or situations that no longer serve us. It’s one of the most painful yet transformative experiences we encounter. Whether it’s the end of a relationship, the distance of a loved one, or the realization that a bond cannot continue as it once was, the process of letting go is seldom easy.

In this blog, we’ll explore why letting go feels so painful, how to navigate this emotional journey, and the steps you can take to heal and find peace.

The Pain of Letting Go: Why It Hurts So Much

Letting go isn’t just about saying goodbye to a person—it’s about releasing the dreams, memories, and expectations tied to them. The grief that accompanies this experience often feels like a deep wound, exposing heartbreak, vulnerability, and a sense of emptiness.

This pain arises because, as humans, we crave connection and certainty. Losing someone who once brought us joy disrupts this sense of security, leaving us grappling with feelings of rejection, loneliness, and loss.

 

When Letting Go Becomes Necessary

Sometimes, love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. Whether it’s due to irreconcilable differences, one-sided efforts, or life pulling people in different directions, there are moments when holding on causes more harm than good.

If you’ve tried to resolve the situation but find yourself drained, letting go might be the only path forward. It doesn’t mean you failed; it simply means you’re choosing peace over prolonging the inevitable.

How to Cope with Letting Go:

Navigating the pain of letting go requires patience and intentional actions to heal. Here are steps to help you move forward:

1. Express Your Emotions

Bottling up emotions can intensify the hurt. Cry if you need to, write in a journal, or talk to someone you trust. Acknowledging your feelings is the first step toward healing.

2. Lean on Your Support System

Surround yourself with friends and family who uplift you. Remember, a problem shared is a problem halved.

3. Keep Your Mind Occupied

Engage in activities that bring you joy or a sense of purpose. Hobbies, exercise, or learning something new can help take your mind off the pain and steer you toward brighter days.

4. Pray or Meditate for Strength

If you’re spiritually inclined, prayer or meditation can provide solace. Surrendering your pain to a higher power or grounding yourself through mindfulness can help you find peace within the storm.

5. Hold onto Hope and Patience

Healing doesn’t happen overnight—it’s more of a slow burn. Trust that with time and self-care, you’ll emerge stronger and more at peace.

Path to Peace

Letting go doesn’t erase the love you felt or the memories you cherish—it simply opens space for you to heal and grow. When the dust settles, you’ll realize that this chapter, though painful, was necessary for your journey.

As you release what no longer belongs in your life, you make room for new beginnings, self-discovery, and a future filled with possibilities. So, don’t let the weight of the past hold you back. Take it one day at a time, and remember: the darkest hour is just before the dawn

 

 

 

Be Yourself………………..

The world is a shit place. The expectations of those around us also exert a strong influence on our identity. Many of the choices we think we have made in life were probably programmed into us by the expectations of those whose approval we craved. It is amazing the degree to which people will adapt to gain the approval of others.

Then there are the expectations that we put on ourselves because we think we have to. This could include anything from our grade point average in school, to the job we would walk away from if it weren’t for our financial obligations.

Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying that imitating others or living up to expectations is inherently bad. All I am saying is that these influences can make it difficult to be yourself because they tend to confuse the issue.

Over time, it can become increasingly more challenging to identify our true self apart from those external influences. The line gets blurred to the point where we might have a full and busy life and still find ourselves saying: “I don’t really know who I am.” Have you ever felt that way?

Benefits of Being Yourself….

1.     You instantly become a better listener. In the times I’ve not been a good listener; it was because I was thinking about myself or what I wanted to say. In the times I’ve listened well, I was present in the moment and tuned into the conversation, rather than worrying about myself.

2. You will be less manipulative. When you’re trying to adjust your hair in the mirror, you might look at it from different angles, try a few styles, and even tilt the mirror. Similarly, when you try to adjust your image through the eyes of another person, it often results in subtle manipulation to get them to see you in a different way, and people hate being manipulated for obvious reasons. If you’re being yourself, the real you is the person they see, and they’ll subconsciously appreciate your straight-forward identity; of course, people will still misinterpret who you are, but that will happen no matter what you do.

3 You’ll feel more relaxed. Managing an image takes a lot of effort because you have to stifle your natural tendencies, analyse the environment, and fabricate a suitable image. But being yourself takes no effort at all – you react and live from the heart, so to speak. It’s relaxing to know that you don’t have to put on a front because you’re comfortable in your own skin!

4 Know your personal values. We all have a built in set of personal values. If we lose touch with those values we lose touch with our true self. When we violate those values we violate our relationship with the person that we really are. To truly be yourself, it is vital that you identify those values and make every effort to live by them.

5. Choose Your Passions Carefully.  Our passions align with our true self they need to be in harmony with our values and standards. 

Passions are easily influenced by what we think about and what we take in through our five senses. These are all within your control.

6. Cultivate Positive Look & Beliefs about Yourself.

You don’t have to compromise your goals.

You don’t have to be like everyone else.

You don’t have to conform.

Be the person you were meant to be…..

Just be yourself……

When did I grow up ma....

When did I grow up ma....

You would give me bournvita at 6am while I was half asleep...

I got up today at 7am and made myself a tea while brushing my teeth and folding my bed...
When did I grow up ma...
I would make a face when you prepared some dish I did not like...
I fixed myself a half cooked lunch with extra salt and filled my stomach in peace...
When did I grow up ma...
You used to separate my dried clothes for laundry and iron the delicate ones..
I used to ransack the wardrobe for a top and crumple the ironing....
Fridays nights I laundry and Sundays I iron, I fold them neat and remove them patiently...
When did I grow up ma...
You had opened an account on my name and used to put money for savings while I hadn't the slightest clue...
I keep accounts every month in an excel sheet and count every pie i can save today...
When did I grow up ma...
When my Teacher scolded me or I had a fight with my best friend, I'd rush to hug you and you'd just hug me back and make my favorite dish that day...
My boss scolded me today for no fault of mine...I wept in the washroom and went on with the day...
When did I grow up ma...
I would throw tantrums to go to the music class while you tried to explain how important it would be...
I sing songs in the evenings to lift up my mood...
When did I grow up ma...
You and dad would explain me the routes to a place 15min from home over and over again yet I used to get lost and call you up...
I traveled across 7 seas alone...travel to unknown cities in trains and buses here...

When did I grow up ma...
I used to sit and play while dad made plans about a great vacation every year..
I am already planning and budgeting your visit here 1 year to go now...
When did I grow up ma...
The only utensils I used were plates and spoons to relish your food without a thanks..
Now I cook and wash and dry and arrange....cooker,pans,plates and spoons...When did I grow up ma...
When we got a house, all I did was look around the walls, the garden and stalls..
Today I think of getting one and dream about staying with you and pa..
When did I grow up ma...
I don't know if I am glad I grew up or miss those things so much....
But I'll always be your kid ma.

Rejections!!!!!

At a general friendly conversation, my friend said “Rejections are a part of life.” The statement really meant a lot.

How do we handle rejections? No human would want to be rejected by anyone in the world. But it happens and it happens very often.

People may not like the way you think, speak, look, behave or even dress. But does that mean, we are wrong or does it mean the other person is. It’s an argumentative topic. Each one can have their own opinion and they also have the right to talk about it openly.

Most of us, if given a serious thought, are not able to handle rejections even after being a grown up adult. And that’s something all of us need to learn.

It is okay if there a few people who don’t like you or who would not want to be with you. The world does not end there. You got to just be yourself, do what you want and say what you think fearlessly.

Talking fearlessly, at the same time, does not mean hurting someone. You got to be assertive and need to explain things in fewer words.

It is okay to be rejected. Try to take it in a positive way and if you can’t do that, just ignore it… :)