Aniket, my elder brother was 16 and I was 10 when my parents suddenly left us alone and disappeared. I still remember the morning of 25h January 1985. I got up and saw Aniket sitting in one corner. When I looked around, there was no one else in the house. I searched each corner for my mom, wanted to hug her: that was how I started each day of my life, but didn’t find anyone. I ran to Aniket and asked him “Where are mom and papa? Where have they gone? Why didn’t mom wake me up? When will they return?”
To this he took me near him and told me “Ishu, they have gone, they are never going to return back. They have left us and gone somewhere out of our reach. Do you understand? They will never come back.”
I still remember the sadness as well as the anger in his eyes. He wanted to cry but he didn’t. At that point of time, I didn’t understand his behavior. I kept crying but Aniket never cried. Whenever I asked him about our parents, he replied but never referred to them as mom or papa. He behaved as if they were never his parents. My parents were never going to return.On the eve of the 25th itself, two people: Ms D’souza and Mr. John had come to our house and told us, they were sent by our relatives. They came to take us. I started screaming, I didn’t want to go anywhere leaving my home but Aniket kept convincing me that we would be fine. Ms D’souza packed our bags and we left. I held Aniket’s hand tightly because he was my only family and I was scared. When we stepped out of the car, the first thing I noticed was the big board which said “Home for the Homeless”. But I had a home, why was I being taken there? Ms D’souza wanted me to stay with a few other girls in their room but I didn’t leave Aniket. I stayed with him.
Everyone was very nice there. We continued going to the school. I made many new friends. Aniket started smiling again. I was happy for him. His world revolved around me. He took immense care of me. Aniket got a job once he completed his studies. I was still in college. We shifted to a new apartment given by his company. We were very sad while leaving the orphanage. We promised Ms. D’souza, we would keep visiting her. When I was brought to the orphanage, I was crying because I didn’t want to enter that place. When I was leaving the same place, I was sad again. This is what is called irony of life.We shifted to the new house. It was a beautiful house with a small garden outside. I completely loved it. Life had changed and it was beautiful. Aniket had fallen in love with a girl in his office and was planning to marry her. I was very happy for him. Preparations had begun. We went for shopping together, arranged for the reception party. There was so much to do. Once late night, Aniket and I were writing down the names of our friends who were to be invited for the reception.
I was missing mom and papa since a few days. I had always shared everything with Aniket. But it was quite a few years since we had spoken about our parents. He came near me and asked “Missing family?”
I never understood how he knew me so well. He always understood things which I never mentioned.
“Yes, I am missing mom and dad. If they were here today, they would have been so happy.”
“May be”, he replied
I was very angry at what he said. “What do you mean may be? Why do you always behave as if they don’t mean anything to you? They were our parents, Aniket. Just because they died it doesn’t mean….” And I stopped half way. Suddenly I realized that I didn’t know anything about my parents’ death.
I didn’t know anything. I was filled with emotions. I was angry on myself. How could I be such a bad daughter who never bothered to find out how her parents died? Tears rolled down my eyes.“Ishu, you know why I never talk about them because I HATE them completely. I hate to call them my parents. I hate it. It was their decision to leave us alone in this world and go. You know Ishu, Mom and dad committed suicide. They were not capable of taking care of us. They were going through some problems and they decided to end their life. It was them who had sent Ms D’souza and Mr. John to take us to the orphanage. Everything was decided, Ishu, everything. They had decided to leave us alone in this cruel world. They could have killed us and taken us with them but they didn’t do that. They left us alone.”
I didn’t know how to react. I wished Aniket had never told me all this. I was happy when I was ignorant. But now he had already told me and I didn’t know what to say. I kept crying. Aniket hugged me and I don’t even remember how I went off to sleep. We never spoke about this again.After 2 years of his marriage, Aniket’s wife delivered a cute little baby boy. The first time Aniket took the baby in his hands, he started crying like a baby himself. He was overwhelmed with happiness.
“Aniket, thank mom and papa that they didn’t take us with them. If they would have done that, we would have never got this cute little child in our life. I have never had complains with my life because you never allowed me to suffer for even a moment. You were always there. And I think mom and papa knew that you will be the most responsible person. They knew that you are strong enough to take care of yourself as well as me. Aniket, forgive them please.”
The baby smiled for the first time and his smile was a sign to start a new life and forget everything about the past. Aniket had finally forgiven my parents.“Mom, papa….I am missing you”, Aniket said.
To this he took me near him and told me “Ishu, they have gone, they are never going to return back. They have left us and gone somewhere out of our reach. Do you understand? They will never come back.”
I still remember the sadness as well as the anger in his eyes. He wanted to cry but he didn’t. At that point of time, I didn’t understand his behavior. I kept crying but Aniket never cried. Whenever I asked him about our parents, he replied but never referred to them as mom or papa. He behaved as if they were never his parents. My parents were never going to return.On the eve of the 25th itself, two people: Ms D’souza and Mr. John had come to our house and told us, they were sent by our relatives. They came to take us. I started screaming, I didn’t want to go anywhere leaving my home but Aniket kept convincing me that we would be fine. Ms D’souza packed our bags and we left. I held Aniket’s hand tightly because he was my only family and I was scared. When we stepped out of the car, the first thing I noticed was the big board which said “Home for the Homeless”. But I had a home, why was I being taken there? Ms D’souza wanted me to stay with a few other girls in their room but I didn’t leave Aniket. I stayed with him.
Everyone was very nice there. We continued going to the school. I made many new friends. Aniket started smiling again. I was happy for him. His world revolved around me. He took immense care of me. Aniket got a job once he completed his studies. I was still in college. We shifted to a new apartment given by his company. We were very sad while leaving the orphanage. We promised Ms. D’souza, we would keep visiting her. When I was brought to the orphanage, I was crying because I didn’t want to enter that place. When I was leaving the same place, I was sad again. This is what is called irony of life.We shifted to the new house. It was a beautiful house with a small garden outside. I completely loved it. Life had changed and it was beautiful. Aniket had fallen in love with a girl in his office and was planning to marry her. I was very happy for him. Preparations had begun. We went for shopping together, arranged for the reception party. There was so much to do. Once late night, Aniket and I were writing down the names of our friends who were to be invited for the reception.
I was missing mom and papa since a few days. I had always shared everything with Aniket. But it was quite a few years since we had spoken about our parents. He came near me and asked “Missing family?”
I never understood how he knew me so well. He always understood things which I never mentioned.
“Yes, I am missing mom and dad. If they were here today, they would have been so happy.”
“May be”, he replied
I was very angry at what he said. “What do you mean may be? Why do you always behave as if they don’t mean anything to you? They were our parents, Aniket. Just because they died it doesn’t mean….” And I stopped half way. Suddenly I realized that I didn’t know anything about my parents’ death.
I didn’t know anything. I was filled with emotions. I was angry on myself. How could I be such a bad daughter who never bothered to find out how her parents died? Tears rolled down my eyes.“Ishu, you know why I never talk about them because I HATE them completely. I hate to call them my parents. I hate it. It was their decision to leave us alone in this world and go. You know Ishu, Mom and dad committed suicide. They were not capable of taking care of us. They were going through some problems and they decided to end their life. It was them who had sent Ms D’souza and Mr. John to take us to the orphanage. Everything was decided, Ishu, everything. They had decided to leave us alone in this cruel world. They could have killed us and taken us with them but they didn’t do that. They left us alone.”
I didn’t know how to react. I wished Aniket had never told me all this. I was happy when I was ignorant. But now he had already told me and I didn’t know what to say. I kept crying. Aniket hugged me and I don’t even remember how I went off to sleep. We never spoke about this again.After 2 years of his marriage, Aniket’s wife delivered a cute little baby boy. The first time Aniket took the baby in his hands, he started crying like a baby himself. He was overwhelmed with happiness.
“Aniket, thank mom and papa that they didn’t take us with them. If they would have done that, we would have never got this cute little child in our life. I have never had complains with my life because you never allowed me to suffer for even a moment. You were always there. And I think mom and papa knew that you will be the most responsible person. They knew that you are strong enough to take care of yourself as well as me. Aniket, forgive them please.”
The baby smiled for the first time and his smile was a sign to start a new life and forget everything about the past. Aniket had finally forgiven my parents.“Mom, papa….I am missing you”, Aniket said.
Nice blog.
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